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ahota84 [userpic]

Lookie here....

January 19th, 2006 (06:49 pm)

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It's nothing personal, it's just about time to make this journal Friends-Only, most of the posts. Just comment if you want to be added, simple as that.

ahota84 [userpic]

Eleven things to remember....

September 2nd, 2005 (11:13 pm)

current mood: (half)
current song: family drinking kamikazies

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

I like this a lot. A curveball has been thrown at me down here and it's nice to have these little things to remember.

When life throws you lemons....grab the vodka and sugar. ha.

I'm half drunk so it's hard to type. mwuah!

ahota84 [userpic]


April 4th, 2005 (03:25 pm)

current mood: content
current song: Atmosphere April 14!!!!!!

Trait . low score high score
Sociability 51% socially reserved, detached friendly, open
Aggressiveness 40% mild mannered, uncompetitive predatory, domineering
Assertiveness 76% introverted, loner controlling, aggressive
Activity Level 83% relaxed, laid back vigorous, high energy
Excitement-Seeking 83% sedate, restrained adventurous, wild
Enthusiasm 93% somber, pessimistic cheerful, optimistic
Trust 89% suspicious of others trusting of others
Submissiveness 23% rebellious, lawless dutiful, obedient, compliant
Altruism 94% selfish, cold, austere helpful, selfless, indulgent
Cooperation 73% argumentitive, confrontational conflict averse, meek
Modesty 24% arrogant, self-satisfied humble, unassuming, doormat
Sympathy 89% callous, heartless empathetic, warm
Confidence 91% not confident in work confident in work, egoistic
Neatness 44% disorganized, messy planner, clean, anal
Dutifulness 85% dishonest, derelict honest, rule abiding, proper
Achievement 60% lazy, unmotivated driven, goal oriented
Self-Discipline 68% procrastinator responsible, efficient
Cautiousness 43% spontaneous, daring, reckless careful, controlled, safe
Anxiety 6% relaxed, fearless fearful, worrier
Volatility 3% calm, cool touchy, tempermental
Depression 5% content, balanced emotional, self hating
Self-Consciousness 16% confident, assured low self esteem, shy
Impulsiveness 84% high self control low self control
Vulnerability 23% resilient, unphased confused, helpless
Imagination 42% practical, realistic dreamer, unrealistic
Artistic Interests 18% artistic indifference art, nature, beauty lover
Introspection 81% not self reflective self searching
Adventurousness 80% conventional, safe spontaneous, bold
Intellect 92% instinctive, non-analytical intellectual, analytical
Liberalism 94% conservative, traditional progressive, open

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ahota84 [userpic]

ok tiny bit drunk

January 13th, 2005 (12:24 am)

current mood: drunk
current song: What they Do- The Roots, baby..what else?

I want a lover I don't have to love,
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk.
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full.
I need some meaning I can memorize.
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind.

But you, but you...

You write such pretty words,
But life's no storybook.
Love's an excuse to get hurt.
And to hurt.
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do.
Then hurt me,
Then hurt me,
Then hurt me...- Bright Eyes

these lyrics are insane...I have no idea how Im so drawn to them. I just copied my favorite part of the song.

So Im going to be a sex therapist..preaching to people about being open and honest about sexual practices and things to try to feel good, keep the spice up in their sex lives, etc...naming all these great things. But my question is...where does my personal experience play into my profession? One would think I'd have to walk the walk, talk the talk. I don't know if I'd feel worse in my life, preaching to couples about things I've never did, or have done them all and sacrficed my self for my profession.

Im frusterated by social norms on sex in our culture. Who woke up and decided to play God and think it was socially acceptable to play shocked and disgusted by certain sexual practices? Who are they to judge what is right and wrong? So people like anal sex. It can be messy, sloppy, painful, but people have really enjoyed it, both men and women. So who decided it was ok to wrinkle their noses at the idea of it? Why are we limiting our sexual revolutions because other people say its not ok? When did we EVER let random people and society decide what we think should feel good or not?

Its like a big game of soccer. We can dribble the ball, we can kick it with our feet, we can try to keep it away from other opponents, but NO!!!! Even though its a part of the fucking game, NO PASSING TO OTHER PLAYERS EVER!! People might think youre a FREAK!!!! I hope this equation makes sense in the morning.

All these freaks are having great games of "soccer," doing whatever they think feels fantastic. And these tight asses (oof no pun intended from previous mentions) are only restricting themselves by scoffing at perfectly acceptable acts. It drives me nuts to hear people being so freaked out by certain things. "Head is SO ICKY!!!" Ten bucks said she's never had a fat cock in their mouth and learned to enjoy it. They've restricted themsleves from even TRYING to like it. "No..I dont like popsicles." have you ever had one? "no....i just KNOW I wont like it." Bam. You've just prevented yourself from trying something you may be really good at and look forward to.


and good night. time to flip my mind from unhibited sex to statistics.

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